Winter giveaway!!!!! [livestream]
Nov 29, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcCXsEgJmD8

hello and how are you welcome
I know it's I'm running just a few
minutes behind I always like to be a
little bit early but hello Medina
I grew how are you I don't know how to
say that one's name thank you so much I
appreciate it
slam how are you thank you so much hi
Jenny
waiting for some more to come ooon hello
welcome welcome ma'am I chose jumping on
a little bit later that needs to come
out hello Natalie oh my goodness welcome
I am sorry someone called in hold on
just a second
sorry hi you guys welcome welcome thank
you so much thank you so welcome
everybody that is here so far I know
there's probably gonna be more joining
and that's totally cool
the more the merrier is the way that I
feel
[Laughter]
thank you so much it's an easy one you
just throw it on that way you can walk
out the door real quick um but yeah it
was funny just a few minutes behind I
was trying to I was out today earlier
and so I came home quickly and was like
oh my gosh I am like late for time I
hate me late for time I'm always like
you know one of those got to be you know
gotta be on track on time I flip out if
I'm not early I'm more of a one that
wants to be early then you know late
Thank You Pam so much I really
appreciate it thank you this is me this
is what this is what I'm like all the
time sometimes my husband's like no
thank you
thank you so much hi Caitlin Thank You
Linda hello hello so anyways yes I was
out a lot of today finally you guys I
got out without my children yes
Sandra this is on um Pam I am NOT on
Supercat as far as I know I don't think
I'm on super chat or yeah super track I
don't know how to I don't know if I'm oh
I don't think I can until I'm at a
thousand subscribers I think
I think that's one of the things that
you get once you actually get on the
thousand subscriber and like YouTube
takes your channel for seriousness I
guess then they say okay you can have it
hey gene welcome welcome I'm sorry I
didn't call you back
earlier I was running wild running free
I let myself loose for a little bit I
needed it I have been locked in my house
for way I need to get my water yeah Pam
you can ask me anything
I am totally an open book I love when
people ask me questions and that's how
you get to know people is by asking
questions so to me I'm totally and yes
you guys I am in my comfy spot that you
guys always see me holding you guys
because this thing to go up sorry sorry
sorry okay is that good guys can you all
see me sorry first of all I cannot find
my tripod second of all I cannot find my
[Music]
Oh Thank You Pam I really appreciate it
good I'm glad
hey Denise welcome yes y'all made it I
promise
okay I was just making sure Pam I have
not forgot your question I will I will
get to it just a second um so I couldn't
find my ball game stick could not find
my you two are my tripod I have my
bigger tripod that I'm using right now
but it's like it's really a finicky one
like if you're like not on any solid
ground then it just hops over because my
phone is heavier than the legs of the
tripod so I have you all like stuck in
between blankets and we're gonna do this
great um Pam to your question so you
asked well you make sure I how did you
meet your husband you seem so compatible
like you two are soul mates
awesome question to ask so hey Angela I
know we need to set one up so really
quick to answer the question that Pam
had asked how I met my husband was I met
him actually online I met him through a
is it boo-boos baby fever if it is no if
it's not correct me um I met him online
through yahoo chat at the time which was
in 2000 and yes Angela I definitely
agree at the time we had which was Yahoo
Messenger now now they've got so many
different apps and different dating
sites I'm not a hundred percent sure
what kind
obviously because I'm not really into
the dating site but I mean I do know
that there is quite a few out there
Thank You Suzanne for the question and I
will get to you as well I'll scroll back
up and make sure I can answer that
question you guys can ask me anything
and I will scroll back up and I will
answer as many of the questions as I can
before we get to our giveaway because
this is the fun this is fun this is
exciting I love it um so anyways thank
you Amaya thank you I appreciate it
um so at the time in 2009 it was Yahoo
Messenger is where we met and I
technically was not even looking for a
husband I was just trying to meet a
friend and I needed someone to yep yeah
Yahoo chat rooms um I just needed a
confidant somebody that I can talk to
and share my day with and so a friend of
mine set me up with the Yahoo chat and
at the time I had no clue what I was
doing you guys I had just bought a
computer for the first time
yes myspace was the jam at the time yes
the whole you get to set your
backgrounds and oh they need to bring
myspace back actually I would rather
myspace then even Facebook oh the things
that you could do with nice space versus
the Facebook so anyways I was on there
for about two weeks and I had you know
met a couple different people just you
know just talking not nothing like I
said I wasn't looking for any type of
relationship I at that point had
Jeremiah that I was fully focused on and
so I really wasn't looking for a
relationship
but he just like private messaged me and
a group one time and asked me my age and
sex and location which was funny because
yes it's the old school dial up chatroom
sugata yeah a little Charles yeah iron
and so high he private messaged me so I
told him my name
ASL yep age sex location
oh my gosh yes I am oh yes back that ASL
hmm had that asked quite a few times so
he did do the ASL and I answered the ans
but I did not answer the L and neither
did he and we talked for about I don't
even know I'll say maybe two weeks
before we even asked for our locations
work and we were just hitting it off
just talking so awesome instant messages
were the thing yeah and we talked and we
talked and finally one day he asked me
he was like you never answered me where
is your location
and I was like oh I'm in Oregon and at
the time I didn't say hi Lori how are
you welcome um at the time I didn't say
anything I didn't do I have a gift
explain explain that one and so I we
exchanged locations for some reason my
husband was his little heart he thought
that I was in ancient I want to say he
didn't know it was in the US he honestly
had no idea maybe he thought it was in
Europe it was something like that and
when he said Egypt I was like
I don't know oh no I don't think so I
don't think so I'm not sure Pam but I
don't think so
all because I don't even I'm not a 100%
clear what that is so good question
Laurie I will you're making it sound
familiar Pam but I don't it's been so
many years ago I really don't I'm not
aware but out we'll chat we'll chat
we'll say we'll figure out what you're
saying um so anyways one thing led to
another I found out he was in Egypt I
thought holy hell I'm falling over him
falling over hills for this man Oh Oh in
the AOL chat was you know I wasn't I who
heard of the AOL chat rooms but I didn't
use those ones I used just the Yahoo
because honestly I was so so literate to
computers it was like I can turn the
computer on I knew how to get to
messenger and type my little password in
and my little happy but sat right in
that area because if I went anywhere
else lord knows where I would have ended
up because I didn't know how to work
those things I still really don't not
very much um actually Jeremiah helps me
more than anything he gets me up where I
gotta go on my laptop on what I need to
do he usually is the one that you know
goes for it um so anyways so when he
said he was from Egypt I thought oh no
what am I going to do so then I thought
well here's the thing if our love is
strong enough and it's meant to be we
will figure this out and it's funny that
we're talking about it now because I
talked about it on my vlog today just a
little bit just it was just a little bit
for you guys for tomorrow but anyways so
with that I we talked and talked to talk
from the end of May beginning of April
till October well we were engaged in
till August and then I bought my ticket
and flew back to Egypt in November and
married the love of my life three days
later and I'm sorry you guys are gonna
hear us for crying and so anyways but
yeah that's how we met and you know I
think honestly a lot of it has to do
with you know the way that we were
meshed so Wells I think because we
didn't have any physical like exchanges
like there was no you see me I see you
in physical form there was no physical
touch there was no nothing I mean it was
straightforward yet X and when we were
like for me we didn't have the ability
to do what we do here which is the
facetiming and stuff we didn't have that
so we like I had a camera but it wasn't
audio I could not for the life of me
like I said I had no audio so we could
see each other but when we were typing
it was all tight all tight and so you
have to meet everything about the person
by finding out through writing and so
that's how we did it and I think that it
really taught us a lot about each other
because we had so much time to figure
those things out and talk about our
likes our dislikes if you know we were
even gonna be compatible you know and at
the time I didn't know about like his
religion I didn't know a lot about that
I hadn't even heard about his plan at
the time so for me when he had told me
that he was Muslims for a minute
when he told me he was Muslim I was just
like okay you know that's supposed to
mean all right so once my family found
out that he was Muslim well then yeah
but that's all right we're all good so
anyways we have been married well we
just we've been we've been together ten
years and have been married for nine
years and he's been here for almost nine
years so yeah yep and I couldn't imagine
a day that goes by that we would never
be together because I just can't imagine
my life without him he's my best friend
he's my half of my he's half of my heart
so and like I said it's really funny
because on my blog we're gonna talk
about this so stay tuned for my walk
tomorrow because I do talk about it let
me scroll up just a little bit say no I
missed a couple questions so let's see
sorry you guys this is not really a
question but in your videos I'm always
staring at your beautiful wedding ring
can you show it up close oh so I don't
know if you guys can see it very closely
it's my camera so not the best but
you see if I take it all maybe you guys
can see it better maybe yeah it's not
showing very well but yes this is my and
then I have my band which we just
discussed really quick I'll show you
show you guys a little Laurie hold on
just a second I will answer that because
I'll go back up and come back down so we
were talking yesterday me and all you
were when we were coming home from no
not yesterday but the day before that
when we were coming home from Portland
we were talking about it's really
important to me because I never I never
experienced mm-hmm family traditional
like items being given for when a woman
is married because my family we just
never did that it was not anything that
was really important I guess more or
less I guess it was because I wasn't
really raised with my mom so you know it
could have been something that she gave
to me but she you know we didn't have
that type of relationship and so because
of that I told our lay I said you know I
think it's really something important
for me to start a tradition with Ezra
and we were trying to well I was trying
to think of something that would be very
special for when desperate gets married
like what is something that I can give
her that would mean so much to her when
she gets married one day and so what I
told ollie was I said you know I think
what would be very specialist what's my
wedding ring I'm not a pearl type of
person and you know watching shows and
listening to stories a lot of mothers
give their daughters like their pearls
that they were on their wedding day
Wolford for me I didn't have a wedding
first of all we plan to have a wedding
but it's not something right now that I
am really focused on anything because I
just have so many other things that I'm
really trying to focus on right now
which is like my wait you know we've got
the business that we're trying to get up
and running for only you know we are
in the near future you know purchase of
home or get into a home that has like a
backyard for the children and so there's
a lot of things right now that we're
trying to figure out where we're going
with life I guess you would say so
something that I think would be very
special is for my daughter's wedding day
to give to her would be so here on my
wedding ring if you see I have a band
here this band is soldered so I have my
wedding fate I have my wedding ring
that's right there that's my whole
wedding ring and then I have this one
soldered but this one go this band I'm
sorry you guys I know the lighting is
horrific right now this one even see
that this band goes with this ring as
well with this band well I have this one
soldered to my finger so what I told all
you that I would want to do is honest
for his wedding day I will have her this
ring this band size down to her finger
and then I will give this ring to her to
wear on her right finger the day she
gets married so she will have a piece of
me and her dad and then I will carry the
other band and then as she has her
family and if she has a daughter then
she will do the same thing she will take
that band from her finger and then we'll
pass it down so everybody in the
generations of my generation that I I'm
making for our family from me on will
have that sentimental band that will
continue to go down so the line of all
of our girls in our family so yeah
that's what that's a story about my
wedding ring
um and so yes I so are you guys let me
see I'm trying to get some Laurie do you
have any brothers or sisters I have one
brother biological brother I have
multiple
siblings that I was raised with over my
lifetime of family and I you know I do
consider them still my siblings but you
know we're not all very very close a few
of us are but some of us aren't and
that's okay
but I do have one biological brother I
am NOT at this point on speaking terms
with him because of choices that he's
made through his life at this point so I
am NOT in speaking terms with him I
haven't spoke to him in three years so I
loved him from a distance and he could
be a very amazing man but right now he
is dealing with some issues that he
needs to take care of and some major
demons that he needs to take care of
also that haunt him from the past so
yeah that's for that time but I do have
amazing in-laws I have two
sister-in-laws and a brother-in-law that
I absolutely adore one lives in Saudi
Arabia with her husband and three
children so I have two nephews enemies
and then I have a sister-in-law that
just got engaged so we're really excited
about that we've got a lot of fun
festivities coming up in the near well
partial new near future their
engagements in Egypt you like to take a
little bit longer sorry guys I am
rubbing my eye I have a hair in my
eyeball go figure right right when I'm
on life couldn't could not wait right
now I'm gonna go and like smear my
makeup and you know make it look really
pretty for you guys anyways and then I
have a most amazing brother-in-law that
I absolutely loved he reminds me so much
of his brother Ali is the oldest
Elvis he is the oldest and then his
sister from Saudi is our the one that
lives in Saudi sorry she's from Egypt
is the second-oldest and then there's my
brother-in-law and then my sister-in-law
and then of course my amazing
mother-in-law that I absolutely oh she's
got sent to his whole family has got
sent to me I just love every one of them
they've taken me under their wing and
make me feel just as one of theirs and
she always always always is like you're
my daughter don't worry
so yeah I love my family so that's that
about my brother and sisters hello Amy I
am from Egypt - and living in Houston I
saw you talking about your first born
son Malik and I tried to find you
telling your son's story but I didn't
find it in any video
so I didn't make a video about Melek I
have a video of jeremiah my adoption
story with jeremiah but I don't have a
video on actually about Malik 100% like
just over revolved around him but yes I
did have a little boy in 2010 I had him
at almost Walt was nineteen and a half
week gestation and it was one of my
hardest times my life I'm especially
because daddy couldn't be here he was in
Egypt they there was nothing they can do
they really don't know what happened I
had fallen two weeks prior to me losing
him I was walking into a school and my
slipper got stuck in the door not a door
wedge and I fell directly onto my
stomach
and I remember going into the doctor
that same day because I was cramping a
little bit and he did an ultrasound
everything looked really good two weeks
later I ended up with a massive
infection and they said that the
infection attacked the baby and so there
was just no saving them there I was too
I wasn't far enough along to make it a
save and my water had broke basically it
had been leaking for two weeks so yeah
so I gave birth to him and he was one
pound seven ounces he was a very
beautiful little baby he looked just
like Olli
I mean honestly just like Ali's so yeah
um thank you I appreciate it it's you
know it wasn't very easy but it's
definitely you know I mean it's his time
has gotten on it's the the emptiness is
still there but the pain has gotten to
the point where you know I can make it
through out a day of crying and you know
for the first few years it was fun it
was really hard especially because you
know Maya was a year and a half old
and there was just so much going on in
my life at that time that it just felt
like that was just one more thing to
send me over the edge but you know what
we made it and so it's all good you know
everything happens for its own reasons
and I don't know what the reasons were
but you know what we'll find out one day
so anyways yeah that's about him is
there any more questions you guys know
all he does not have any family in the
States they are all in Egypt and he has
his sister and brother-in-law in Saudi
because his brother-in-law works there
our brother-in-law works there
I am so sorry I've been trying to have a
baby for 15 years and for mr. spring I
am so sorry to hear that it's not easy
it's not especially you know when you've
had those losses and there's something
there that's empty you know and I think
that that's kind of what helped me heal
a little bit from the babies did not
replace Malik by all means but it
definitely filled that void and that
whole bit of something I was longing for
because I knew I was supposed to have a
baby so when you go into the hospital
you immediately think that no you're
gonna go and have a baby but when you go
in the hospital you're told sorry but
there's nothing you can do and you're
gonna be leaving this hospital
empty-handed you definitely leave with
that empty feeling of oh you know so I
totally I get it I totally get it
hundred percent and I am so sorry
anybody that experienced any type of
miscarriage loss of a baby it's all
losses and my heart goes out to every
one of you guys that have suffered from
all of those things because no matter
what miscarriage is still a loss of a
baby and it's not easy it's not easy but
what gets me through Dave ideas looking
at my three beautiful babies and knowing
that he's watching down on all of us and
you know that I couldn't be more
thankful that you know I had Jeremiah
during that time because you know I
definitely helped him very close
me and my even I think built even a
stronger bond after I lost knowledge
because I really seen that life could be
taken both so quickly and you you can't
stop it you can't stop death you know
and that was a big thing for me to learn
was that you can't control when
somebody's gonna die like you can I mean
you might think you can but you can't so
you just have to enjoy every day that
you have with all of your loved ones and
pray that everybody stays safe and you
know know that God has his plans and
sometimes they seem unfair sometimes you
will want to question it but in the
ending mmm it's what's written out for
you Lin Lorie sorry I know you did ask
that question thank you so much for
reminding me
this is called a hijab and what it is
it's just a it's it's just it's a solid
piece there's many different kinds of
paid jobs there's ones that you can wrap
there's these kind that you can just
slide over your head I opted to wear
these kind because one I'm not a patient
person I am NOT a patient person and
just down there and wrap my head jobs I
am the worst because when I walk out of
the house felt like I have a sheet
wrapped around my head so I like these I
have them in so many different colors
because I just order them off of the
internet they are stretchy they're like
a they're almost like bathing suit
material is almost what they are that's
kind of that it's the best way to
describe it and and then I use I don't
know how to describe what it is it's
kind of like a jersey material and there
are 13 inches long and why I know it's
because I going by the the fabric for it
I slice it up and then I just take them
and I tie them and turban ties and then
I buy my head pieces to go underneath
and it just sprouts around the back of
my head and
yeah that's what that is and I have to
wear them when I am either on camera or
if I go out I happen to show up on and
sometimes you guys you know what I come
home and I'll even forget that it's even
on and I'll be sitting there and all
over like you going somewhere like no no
well oh yeah um well you know hey jobs
come in multiple multiple different
colors you will nine out of ten see me
wearing black I try to change the colors
of my turban with my head pieces to
match my outfits but since I knew today
I was gonna be I wore have them on me
right now I actually put in that dirty
laundry but I had my exercise pants on
that had a warrior written down the side
of it and it's this color so I just wore
one of my shirts that I just got from
Amazon and then black they're like black
stripe stretchies kind of leggings and
then it says warrior down the side and
so I just wore my black hijab because it
just all went together and it was easy
and I know my doctor's appointment today
so I was just trying to keep
[Music]
how do you stay motivated on your weight
loss journey when you're having a rough
day and want to eat everything it's a
struggle for me
Suzanne honestly I think that's just
everybody's struggle I don't think that
it in particularly is something that you
struggle alone with it's I was diagnosed
a year and a half ago with binge eating
and I I knew I had an issue because I
would find myself when I was in my most
stressful moment standing in the
bathroom or not the bathroom sorry
standing in the bathroom my god studying
in the kitchen and I would just be
setting this Chevy Chevy at each other
so me and I couldn't stop I had no
control and but once I reached out and
started going to counseling and having
more therapy time and learning my like
starting to go through my healing and
the processing of my past and being able
to get over my trauma feeling it really
kind of amped up me being able to start
noticing when I wanted to take a binge
that now when I start getting really
stressful I noticed when I and I don't
know how much of the videos you guys
have watched but I had written some
letters to a few family members I've got
my trauma and filling them in with
things which one was my mom and one was
my grandma and I noticed during that
time I was eating lots of M&Ms during
the fries and while I was writing I was
just sitting there just downing M&Ms and
I knew what I was doing I seen it but I
learned that I had to have compassion
for myself and a lot of times when
people go in to lose weight
whatever they're gonna do they're like
boom you know I'm not gonna eat sugar
I'm not gonna eat pasta I'm not gonna do
this I'm not gonna do that it strip
everything out of their cupboards and
throw everything away and why are you
gonna punish yourself why are you gonna
strip everything that is your comfort
why are you gonna strip everything away
from me I feel like you have to have
compassion for yourself during this time
of transition so at the beginning when I
started my journey I did not I and I
still to this day I don't cut out carbs
I don't cut out sugar I the one and only
thing the one and only thing which is my
addiction I cut out and I have not even
taken a sniff of it in soda I I could
drink two liters of soda you guys in a
day two liters of soda yeah there was
none of this it was also done and I
remember my mom saying Amy you are
drinking yourself to death you are going
to kill yourself by drinking that much
soda you are going to make yourself so
sick and I you know she told me that is
a heroin addiction and you sorry not a
heroin it was like a heroin addiction
you know and so she would call me
sometimes then she'd be like so did you
you know have your heroin today and at
first it would make me so mad when she
would say that I'd be like how dare you
you know I don't have a drug issue and
I'd get so cleared up because I was like
don't you put me in that category of
being a drug addict because I'm not a
drug addict and you know you were and
don't put me here don't say that about
me
but they wanted really sat back and I
looked at it I was like you know that is
my drug I would go to soda when I was
having my stressful days and stuff I
would sit in just drink soda after soda
episode a--
so when i started my journey and i do
not call this a diet diets are to me and
this is just my opinion you guys
totally my opinion but diets to me are a
[Music]
they're temporary
diets don't last forever dieting is a
lot of times you know the theory of
trying to think like the word I can't
think of the word but diets are just
thirteen if you won't use the word diet
you might as well just fall off the
bandwagon right now because nobody
sticks to a diet nobody but if you make
a life change and you start a life
journey that is different I don't know
why I don't know why it clicked
differently with me all right
it clicked and I have been able to
faithfully say that I have stopped since
July 11th of 2018 I stood to my husband
and I said today is the day that I am
changing my life I will no longer drink
soda and I'm going to change my mind
thinking I'm going to change my
relationship with food I'm not cutting
things out
I'm not telling myself I can't have that
I am just changing these things and you
know honestly I haven't even had a day
where I've looking back and said god I
wish I could have had X Y & Z because my
family was having it nope nope not one
day not one day because you know why I
allow myself to have things but I want
to talk about I'll allow myself talk
about I don't allow myself to have my
six seven items like I used to
now I cut it down to well now it's
really funny because I will buy two
items now which is usually chocolate
salad that's like my go-to and then I
usually get a bean burrito why I don't
know but I get my bean burrito and you
guys I can never finish it I get my taco
salad I'll eat it and then I'll I say I
always say maybe burrito for last and
because I know my bean burrito you can
save but Uggla solid it kind of would be
nasty so I always eat my taco cell at
first and by the time I get to him as
many taco salad I'm like I don't even
want it now before I would have even
eaten it just because I was afraid
that's part of my trauma that
we're going through is because I went
many days where I didn't have food to
eat and so in return I would have days
where I didn't know if I was gonna have
food and stuff and that really triggered
in my brain so I I would really
overstuffed myself as an adult because I
had that mindset but I've taught myself
you know any of you don't get a burrito
now and you want one in you know in an
hour and a half or you can go right down
to talk about and get it you know you
don't have to buy the taco or you don't
have to buy the burrito right now if you
don't want it or you can get it and it's
okay and it's safe to put it in the
fridge er because it will be there later
so that's kind of how I've done things
and I just allow myself what I want but
I've learned honest-to-god to do it in
moderation which is a very big step for
me because myself i don't know
moderation i don't know how to stop i
don't know but since i changed my
mindset in my relationship with food and
I realized that food is now my survival
rather than my uh-huh myah myah
everything because I would sit and just
eat to eat I don't have those finchy
moments I I want to say the last time I
benched was probably about three months
ago and that was when all of this hey
welcome at the when I did my last binge
was right when we were opening up the
doors to my trauma abuse and and my
counselor said that was very common for
that to happen so but since you know
I've got my grips on and I see what
we're going through and what we're doing
with Monday's I will say Monday's are
usually my hardest day um to be honest
that is my my day that I fight it the
most but that's because that's my day
that I go to counseling and I dig up
dead bones that have been dead and so I
usually come home with her
today I come home very tired some days I
just want to leave the office and I do
want to give my comforts my you know my
comfort my food you know how my food is
my comfort at that moment but I just
continue to keep telling myself Amy you
know you have so many people that are
pressing on for you and supporting you
don't do it don't go home let's make
something at home let's have a sandwich
let's you know let's do something and
mmm it's really it's it's been amazing
and so so far since July 11th
I have lost 67 pounds and so that's why
I say that by January 1st I want to be
398 pounds because if I can get down to
398 pounds that means I've lost a
hundred pounds in six months and then my
goal for 2019 is to successfully lose
another hundred pounds so because I know
that it does slow down so I don't want
to put my you know I don't want to put
it way out there like whoa you know but
for 2019 my goal is to lose another
header pounds so yeah that would bring
me down to 298 pounds by the time we
come in and you know what I'm take it if
I'm gonna lose more but you know and and
good news you guys really quick before
we switch gears here they did authorize
my MRI so I get to get my MRI done on
December 10th I had to be there early in
the morning and I told him cuz he's like
are you claustrophobic and I'm like ha
ha ha you want to get me an MRI table
yeah best knock me out because you're
not gonna get me in there and keep me in
there and so anyways they have an open
MRI table that they're gonna go ahead
and use for me and they'll also a
minister some medicine for me as well so
yes I get to get my MRIs so we get to
find out what that bulges on the back of
my knee we also get to indicate what's
going on and why when I stand up and
straighten my leg out sometimes it feels
like
is gonna rip apart because this whole
not being able to do exercising if you
guys seen my last exercise video you'll
see that I kind of started to favor my
knee a little bit because it was
excruciating really painful but I didn't
give up I didn't allow myself to stop I
had to keep pressing for because I just
I know that it's best for my heart to
keep you know moving and today I got out
and I walked I worked for about an hour
and a half I walked and walked and
walked and you know my knee is hurting
it really is but I don't care I don't
make excuses I can't make excuses
because excuses aren't gonna get you
anywhere but with having this MRI it's
really gonna help because if it is a
baker's cyst or anything inside there
then that will give my doctor the
indication of what to do next and then
if there is damage in my knee
what do we need to do to fix that so
that I can continue on with exercising
so yes I'm so excited so probably give
or take because my MRI is on the tenth
so after they get the results and stuff
I'm thinking probably the beginning of
the year then I'm really really really
gonna be serious about
maybe getting the gym membership I am
really excited so it's something that I
I really want to do I want to get into
the gym and really start doing some
major core working out because it's no
joke when I say I want to lose weight I
don't want to be big anymore it hurts so
bad to be big and I just I just don't
want it I don't want to be this way
anymore and that's why that's kept me on
here is because you guys have kept me up
on this it's because of you guys too
it's not just because of me I don't have
enough strength to keep myself on here
but because I have all of you guys it
keeps me grounded majorly and then
watching other youtubers that are also
on journeys some are really good some
are struggling really hard and my heart
goes out to every one of the youtubers
that are struggling and the ones that
are succeeding because you know what
it's not easy I don't care what anybody
says trying to get healthy and lose
weight it's not easy but if you have the
great support and you really push
forward and you really really set
yourself some great goals anybody can do
it it's just a matter of how Matt how
bad you want it and I want it bad um
thank you guys so much I appreciate all
of your guys's comments and questions
Jamie have you thought about gastric
bypass I have and I am NOT I don't know
I I have nothing against it I know
multiple family members that have had it
in Suzanne I agree with you 100% you've
got to change your mind to change your
body and that that hits it right there I
have multiple family family members that
I have had the surgery some have had
great successes others have not some
have been very sick since they had it I
have a friend of mine she's actually on
this live right now she's working
towards getting her surgery I have
nothing against having the surgery but
it's just not for me
um because for me my my eating disorder
and my heaviness isn't it's not I would
not be able to I would not be successful
with a surgery because I have a binge
deceit or a disorder so surgery for me
wouldn't work I have to get to the root
of my problem and work myself out and
surgery is not gonna get to the root of
that it's it's gonna give me the tool
but if I don't work as hard as I can to
get to the root of why all these things
have happened what has caused me to put
on so much weight and like I was
explained to you the other day
I've been shedding off the trauma it's
not even fat it's it's trauma all these
pounds that I have carried 498 pounds
plus because in 2014 I was 515 pounds
the amount of fat that I'm carrying
around is just not even it's it's not
it's not fat it's all trauma it's all
pain that I'm now shedding so the
surgery wouldn't have gotten into that
and really cured that so to me I think
it would have been a great tool to start
out with but I would have ended up going
right back to my my addiction because I
hadn't dealt with my past so that's why
for me I'm not interested in the surgery
but for others go for it
do what you guys need to do to help you
guys lose the weight and get healthy
because being big is not fun and being
anywhere the size that I was put a hair
Union on my face and I could feel it in
his what do you mean having the weight
the being the size that I was literally
you just want to die like you really
want to die it I was getting chair-bound
I was getting to a point where I was
having a hard time going to the bathroom
because walking to the bathroom and back
I'd be completely out of breath like I
mean literally out of breath I couldn't
longer walkin stores in the only time I
could go into a stores if I had a
shopping cart of one of those motor
carts yeah wasn't working for me
I'm only 37 years old I'm not ready to
crack down to a wheelchair and what
really is sad is that right before I
started this journey I started looking
at you know wheelchairs not wheelchairs
but motor parts or not for inside the
house but to have so when we go to
stores and stuff I was always guaranteed
one what the heck really Amy get over
yourself myself um anyways do I have
animals yes I have a pet gorilla as Jodi
said because my husband no I'm just
joking
no we do not have pets we had birds at
one time but right when I had Omar about
six months into having him I decided to
find them a new home because we were not
being able to take the time with them
and he was gonna start to crawl my birds
like to be out of their cage
and I feel like dealing with him anyways
so I've kept you guys on here almost an
hour I am so sorry I hope that I kept
you guys entertained but anyways so I
think I got everybody's questions
answered if I did not shoot him to me
and I will try and answer them before we
get cut off but I definitely wanted to
be able to do the giveaway which is why
so when I okay let me backtrack just a
few seconds okay I have one announcement
for sure everybody that is pretty aware
with all of you guys on the channel if
you guys know chef wannabes life aka
Chris and a lot of you guys are on her
channel and then a lot of you guys have
seen her commenting and stuff throughout
my channel she had her surgery today
and I have not got an update from her
yet I just dropped a get-well card in
the mail from her for to her from all of
us so I am waiting for an update her
husband will be calling me this evening
if not this evening and the morning to
update me or text me but I should get an
update and I will update all with you
guys but I would just like to ask for
all of you guys to keep her in her
thoughts and prayers this surgery was
gonna be a pretty it was going to be a
pretty difficult surgery it's got to do
with her eyes I don't know all the
details so I can't go into detail as to
what all is happening but I do know that
she's a brave woman she's a brave woman
and I absolutely love her and I know a
lot of you guys do too and and if you
don't know her you guys got to know her
you guys got to jump to her channel and
subscribe to it she is trying so hard to
build her channel up and she's amazing
person but I definitely just want to ask
for all of you guys to please keep her
in your thoughts and prayers during this
time because it's gonna be a long
process of recovery she will not be
making videos for at least a couple I
would say about a week I think she said
because with the eyes any type of light
she can't her chefs are sorry her
channel name is chef wanna be his life
and it's all in one word if you go into
my videos kind of school down just a
little bit you'll see her name cuz she
comments quite often on my channel and I
will also put the into the description
in here so that way then because I don't
know how to do it on the video not on
here anyways while I'm live but I will
put it into the description but that
would be amazing I would love to see her
channel girl she's such an awesome
person and she's just been so strong so
frustrated because her channel has just
been dropping and she's like what am I
doing wrong and I'm like baby I'm trying
I'm trying but she is just she's an
awesome lady so I ain't seen
you know in pain but the surgery is
gonna do her good and like I said I
dropped her a card in the mail from all
of us so she should receive that in the
next couple of days and that will
probably break my spirits a little bit
to know that we're all thinking about
our praying Porter and so yes Thank You
Jamie so much I appreciate it and she's
gonna absolutely love it she probably
won't get back with you right away just
because like I said she can't she won't
be able to see very well and it's very
very very painful I guess it's what I
was being explained to this morning when
before she because she had messaged me
this morning and just told me that you
know not to be concerned if she didn't
get back in touch with me but that her
she would have her sister her husband so
that's why I'm waiting patiently and I
text her phone so I should probably I
might have already gotten a message I
just have my phone on sleep mode so that
it wasn't being because my mother's
started calling me right in the middle
of my video so anyways here is the fun
wreath for our giveaway this month and
Thank You April thank you thank you life
of the Hawks family thanks all right
give me your name Oh Jemaine thank you
so much it was fun to me
I absolutely loved this one he's just
chilling out he's just sitting there so
yes I am so excited to get this win and
remember you guys listen listen listen
clearly clearly I do give aways once a
month so if you want to be put into the
giveaways remember to email me your name
so that way then we can get you into the
drawings because I can't you know I
don't know Amy I'm also
deucey verse 10 same days you're in
right oh my gosh okay um I will I'll get
with you I'll get with you for sure um
I'll message you tonight after the life
I so anyways
yes I Stacey okay yes yes yes okay
I know exactly but yes so every month
the first of the month just shoot your
name into my email box so that I can get
your name written down and get you put
into my giveaways you guys I never know
what I'm gonna be doing for my giveaways
lately they've been wreaths and I
actually really enjoy doing them so I
think I'm gonna keep up doing race for
right now they're so fun I love love
love making them Stacey Stacey seriously
yes I know where can I email you up okay
in my description box I have all of my
information contact information on from
my social medias Canadiens Kim - yeah
yeah for sure
no problem um so in the description box
is all my contact information for all my
social media platforms also my email
address um I am soon to hope and get up
heel box because I know a lot of people
have asked me to get a peel box so they
can send us cards Twitter love I love
getting cards I love getting my
postcards from different places oh my
gosh so I do definitely want to get a
post post box post box Bo box so that we
can start receiving cards affected that
would be a lot of fun but that's just a
work in progress but yes the first of
the month I'm gonna start doing a
reminder on my the first of the month
video so that way you guys can just get
in there and get those names out because
I love
to give its many people bold when you
wanna win something so anyways so we're
going to start the giveaway and every
month when we do the giveaway so if I'm
gonna be doing the wreath it will be so
like this is the winner giver it winter
giveaway I'm thinking Jani where he's
gonna be like a New Year's well I don't
want to do a New Year's rates because by
the time you guys would get it would
already be done for us well no because I
would be doing my giveaway at the end of
December hmm we'll see we'll see
so yes as of now start putting your name
in and just write January oh thank you
just write January's giveaway and that
way then I know you're and find about
January's giveaway but you guys can
start putting your names in as of
tonight for the next giveaway because
it's your you're able to so anyways here
we go and I like I said I love to see as
many names come up as possible as
possible and now I'm gonna get pickup
um you do not have to put your address
right now if you just want to put your
name and just so you would just write
your name and then put January giveaway
and then so if your name was drawn then
that's when I would I will email you
back and then get your address if that
makes sense
so yeah so I don't have to have the
address right away so here we go I don't
have anybody to pull the names tonight
so I guess I'm a loner guess I'll be
doing it myself so make sure I grab one
always the one that uh good luck to the
entries yes all he's the one that folded
them for me that way I wouldn't even
know what they felt like
alright are you guys ready I don't know
this is gonna show it backwards or not
but it's cat lady
aka April I don't know if you can see it
oh my kids are all running to my door
like what is going on mom
congratulations so yes I am so if so if
so excited that is so awesome yeah yeah
so they thought there was a party going
on in here they're like what are we
missing out on
um they both come flying in you're like
what's going on we shall be missing this
party um thank you guys so much for
joining my life I love talking to you
guys I hope I did not bore you guys I
just love these I love being able to
contact with you guys and do one-on-ones
it's so much fun again start putting
your guys names in now for the January's
giveaway make sure you put your name and
then just write your name slash January
giveaway I will put you into the drawing
that would be awesome
Lauri thank you so much Sandra thank you
Suzanne thank you so much you're so so
welcome again you guys don't ever feel
like you cannot ask questions I love
when people ask questions it tells me
that you're not only just interested in
my life but you want to get to know me
and I do not shoot down questions
whatsoever so thank you so much for
feeling confident and comfortable enough
to come to me and ask me questions
because I like people to know who I am I
know why come on you guys hey get off my
box right now child get off of that no
no no no no get off he's starting on the
books or something I can't tell you
get off uh-huh now no come on
daddy they're standing on the box you
got me today
I can't tell you guys what it is because
it's on my blog so it's gonna be a
surprise for you guys tomorrow anyways
you guys take care I'm gonna jump off
now because my dinnertime I get to have
a chicken salad you're so welcome I'm so
excited that you guys got to come and
join and that you won thank you my kids
are cute but boy can they just be a
little hahahaha Jody you might have to
wait and see until tomorrow anyways I
love every one of you guys thank you so
much you guys mean everything to me
and I love taking the time to talk to
you guys and I love learning more about
you guys just like you guys like to
learn about me and this was an amazing
life I appreciate you guys taking your
sweet time to talk with me and I will
see you guys again tomorrow morning with
my blog love you
oh my god I go and shut my phone off and
it didn't go off what are we doing I
can't tell you guys what I got
you guys gotta wait and see till
tomorrow yes yes yes you gotta wait got
away I ruin in that surprise anyways
okay I got to figure out how to shut
this off my solid is waiting for me and
it's going to start caroling down and
then it's not gonna be a good sound like
so love you guys I will see you guys
tomorrow with my blog
